Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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