who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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