You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
