turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
