i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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