I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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