areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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