she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
