I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
