So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
