Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
