you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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