Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
