LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
