"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
