Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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