No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I woke up under a house in Key West
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