I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Sext me about skeletons
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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