My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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