the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
its liver damage thursday
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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