is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
