Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
