This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
