I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
