You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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