Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
