He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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