I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
