Buhtt sex?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
