ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you would pick up someone in the library
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
