Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
