I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I AM VODKA MAN
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
