i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
