I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
