your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
