Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
