I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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