Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
