So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
