I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
