I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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