so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
