Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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