If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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