Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
