Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
