For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
