I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
