I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Randomize