Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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