I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
